Do I dazzle you?

Filed Under Movies on December 7, 2008 • View Comments

Oooh, broody.

Today I went to a special preview screening of Twilight as it only comes out here on Thursday in Australia. Despite my tastes always veering into those of a 17-year-old, I haven’t been the biggest Twilight fangirl, as at this stage, I’ve only read the first book. *gasp* I know, right? So I’ve managed to steer clear of the fandom hype, and managing not to cast the movie before it was even announced, and pitched to a production company!

I couldn’t escape all of the promo shots, and the superhumanly photoshopped images of Robert Pattinson. I will grant him, he does have sexy hair. Bed hair to the max. But was he the dark, broody vampire I envisaged in the books? Not really..

For the most part, I wasn’t really impressed with the book. It was no Harry Potter, it wasn’t rich with lush visuals, and heart racing action, or a cathartic romance. It felt like, a younger version of Dawson’s Creek with a lesser vocabulary, and uh.. vampires that weren’t that fangy. Edward was always described as ‘beautiful’ and ‘mysterious’, and Bella was always just dependent on him, and his opinions, and all the supporting characters were of little consequence as long as Edward was around. I thought maybe the movie might be an improvement on the book itself, and provide more depth and give me something to feel, or be inspired to read the next 3 books. Not so much..

For the most part, Robert Pattinson is pure eye candy. He intrigues and entrances Bella Swan by at first feeling sick at the sight of her, giving her death glares, and then trying to be polite, but effectively still telling Bella they shouldn’t be together, they shouldn’t even be friends. I suppose it is true that the opposite sex is always the more appealing when they aren’t interested, or available. But its rather comical, a vampire of little words, but his eyes, and arched brows say everything, and then some. The audience laughed more in parts that weren’t necessarily funny, all because of the way he’d look at Bella, when he wasn’t saying something like ‘Do I dazzle you?’ – okay, that wasn’t in the movie, but its still just the cheesiest line ever. Even one of the other Cullens maybe had 2 lines maximum in the whole movie, yet he still scored laughs for the way his eyes popped out of his head when he saw Bella.. “He’s a new ‘vegetarian”.. you have to see it to know what I’m talking about.

Kristen Stewart isn’t that much of an improvement, and her narrations are a bit grating, and monotonous as her voice is rather.. monotone. This isn’t a very memorable role for her, and apart from pining away for Edward, and being irrevocably in love with him, she is a one dimensional character, just drawn to the first guy that didn’t pay any attention to her.

Apart from all the teenage angst, and heartfelt declarations said between tree-climbing and sparkling like diamonds in the sunlight, even the ‘bad vampires’, the non-vegetarians if you will are not that menacing. There are a few attacks on innocents, yet there is never a sign of any fangs, or blood really. Just hissing like cats, and moving like a flash, oh and making the grand slow motion, wind-blowing in the hair entrance – they aren’t scary vampires. It all seems to happen rather fast that once the bad vampire catches scent of Bella, she’s on the run, seeing the future, and fighting off the vampire, until Edward comes to save the day, but even then.. its over before you know it, and that was that, and now its Prom time!

As you can see, I wasn’t that impressed. As much as I’d love to say I swooned, and sighed with the whole crowd, it just was a bit too teen-soap-melodrama, not enough substance to back up the eye candy. I mean, it was a great first kiss scene I give it that much, but, not enough to hold up an entire movie..

http://www.gnomeangel.com gnomeangel

Seems like tonight is the night for reviews. ;)

I really enjoyed reading this. It’s also convinced me that I’m not going to bust a gut and see this at the movies. I still think that I may never read the books.

Fave line: It felt like, a younger version of Dawson’s Creek with a lesser vocabulary, and uh.. vampires that weren’t that fangy.

I wonder if the next generation will appreciate how Dawson’s spawned a whole culture of words that were more then two syllables and weren’t spelt with number and letters.

Great review!

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http://www.gnomeangel.com gnomeangel

Seems like tonight is the night for reviews. ;)

I really enjoyed reading this. It’s also convinced me that I’m not going to bust a gut and see this at the movies. I still think that I may never read the books.

Fave line: It felt like, a younger version of Dawson’s Creek with a lesser vocabulary, and uh.. vampires that weren’t that fangy.

I wonder if the next generation will appreciate how Dawson’s spawned a whole culture of words that were more then two syllables and weren’t spelt with number and letters.

Great review!

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http://www.pop-couture.com Kimberley

Thank you! I typed it all out in a hurrry but essentially I hope I got the essence of why it was a bit of a disappointment. Of course, I’m sure its pleased its target demographic. Maybe I’m showing my age!

Ahh Dawson’s, there hasn’t really been a show that has made such a cultural impact for a long time… (thinks)

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http://www.pop-couture.com Kimberley

Thank you! I typed it all out in a hurrry but essentially I hope I got the essence of why it was a bit of a disappointment. Of course, I’m sure its pleased its target demographic. Maybe I’m showing my age!

Ahh Dawson’s, there hasn’t really been a show that has made such a cultural impact for a long time… (thinks)

Reply
Dora

Glad there’s someone else out there who can’t get into this Twilight-Robert-Pattinson-related hype (I have some friends gushing over the guy constantly, it’s madness :D). And I loved Dawson’s also exactly because the character actually had something to say…

So I’ll definitely be downloading this movie (if I’ll be watching at all). I have tried to get past the first 50 pages of New Moon but it doesn’t seem to work either…I’m tired of people being ‘perfect’ and ‘dazzling’ and ‘Adonis-like’. Considering the English language DOES have a larger vocabulary, Ms. Meyer could’ve at least checked Synonyms.com for a few more adjectives ;)

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Dora

Glad there’s someone else out there who can’t get into this Twilight-Robert-Pattinson-related hype (I have some friends gushing over the guy constantly, it’s madness :D). And I loved Dawson’s also exactly because the character actually had something to say…

So I’ll definitely be downloading this movie (if I’ll be watching at all). I have tried to get past the first 50 pages of New Moon but it doesn’t seem to work either…I’m tired of people being ‘perfect’ and ‘dazzling’ and ‘Adonis-like’. Considering the English language DOES have a larger vocabulary, Ms. Meyer could’ve at least checked Synonyms.com for a few more adjectives ;)

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http://www.gnomeangel.com gnomeangel

:) Synonyms.com made me giggle – you’re so right though. It’s amazing how many wonderfully perfect people there are in the world. Although, I guess fiction might not work so well if people were ‘ordinary’… however some of the “best” literary work might be the argument against that particular argument for perfection.

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http://www.gnomeangel.com gnomeangel

:) Synonyms.com made me giggle – you’re so right though. It’s amazing how many wonderfully perfect people there are in the world. Although, I guess fiction might not work so well if people were ‘ordinary’… however some of the “best” literary work might be the argument against that particular argument for perfection.

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Michelle

Thanks for this review, i have read 3 of the books and am currently on the 4th, however they give me the …. well they annoy me a lot!!
Whine, winge.. whine, oh i love a vampire, oh i love a were wolf…
I just don’t know why i read them, and yes i’m going to see the movie!! i’m sad i know! i don’t get the hype in anyway shape or form. I’ve read Sweet Valley High books that have more substance! And your description of it as dawsons with less words.. perfect!!

Reply
Michelle

Thanks for this review, i have read 3 of the books and am currently on the 4th, however they give me the …. well they annoy me a lot!!
Whine, winge.. whine, oh i love a vampire, oh i love a were wolf…
I just don’t know why i read them, and yes i’m going to see the movie!! i’m sad i know! i don’t get the hype in anyway shape or form. I’ve read Sweet Valley High books that have more substance! And your description of it as dawsons with less words.. perfect!!

Reply
http://www.pop-couture.com Kimberley

Hi! Thanks for your comment! See, I’ve only read the first, but I was so sure that the movie might be enough to kick me into gear. I’m still curious? I’m still hoping it might be different, especially hearing that it will be a different director for the next movie. Yet the acting won’t be different, haha..
You say Sweet Valley High, and it just rang the bell in my head that oh, isn’t there a Babysitters Club movie coming out with Miley Cyrus? :P (and maybe I’ll come with you for that one.. I’m sad too!)

Reply
http://www.pop-couture.com Kimberley

Hi! Thanks for your comment! See, I’ve only read the first, but I was so sure that the movie might be enough to kick me into gear. I’m still curious? I’m still hoping it might be different, especially hearing that it will be a different director for the next movie. Yet the acting won’t be different, haha..
You say Sweet Valley High, and it just rang the bell in my head that oh, isn’t there a Babysitters Club movie coming out with Miley Cyrus? :P (and maybe I’ll come with you for that one.. I’m sad too!)

Reply
http://www.notjustmovies.net justrobby

Jasper the vegetarian vampire was very funny. I have yet to read the book, but now im slowly not wanting to eaither. Mixed reviews have got me thinking. The film was ok, but nothing fantastic.

Reply
http://www.notjustmovies.net justrobby

Jasper the vegetarian vampire was very funny. I have yet to read the book, but now im slowly not wanting to eaither. Mixed reviews have got me thinking. The film was ok, but nothing fantastic.

Reply

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